Psalm 11-15

Thank you, Lord, for the words of David, for the heart that you put into him, for the passionate devotion he had for you and your law, for the sleepless nights and the joyful mornings, for the heavy moments of mourning and the strength to do what is right, for consuming him and giving him the gift of utter abandon, for weaving together words in him as a life is woven together in a mother's womb.

Please give me this spirit; show me what it takes to be a man after your own heart.  Purify me and redeem me, and remind me of my worth.  I long to be set apart for your holy purposes, to dwell in your presence and see your face.

Cuz your love is life to me
My truest longing my deepest need
Without it one moment, I don't know where I'd be
Your love is life to me

Freedom

The storage industry is one of the largest growing industries in America.  There were 2.2 billion square feet by the time this Tedtalk happened.  Debt has been around for thousands of years, but this man suggests we have PERFECTED it.  We work so we can buy things, we buy more things so we go into debt, which leads us to more work.  Nothing is more stressful than working a job that you don't love to pay off things you have from decisions you made years ago.

Watch "Rudy Francisco performs "Chameleon"" on YouTube
Man, it's one of those days I need a gut wrenching poem.

Lion-Heart

Behold, Greyson, the Lion-hearted!!!

A courageous man! Good-looking and highly regarded!  With dashing smile and charm for miles my capabilities simply can't be charted.  I'm the guy you want to bring home to your father, the one you don't want to let get away, I'm the one that scares the opposition, a wild card when it's most needed.  I'm the surge of epinephrine you got when you and your lover first greeted. My words dissolve like honey, reviving any soul whose feels defeated.  I can do more than your mind dares to conceive.    I'm willing to face any brand of distasteful death if I can only hold fast to what I believe.  I don't mind a departure from earth as odd as at the hands of Sweeney Todd, and I'd revel in passing away like one of the prophets, even Stephen.  He was stoned to death as a martyr.

Unfortunately, I'd rather be stoned to death than to cauterize the gash from which flows my bleeding soul.  A doughnut of a man with a sweet exterior, yet glazed eyes don't hide the fact that I'm not whole. 

And now, behold Greyson with a lying heart.

A man who from his previously stated ideology would quickly depart.  Any meaningful lifestyle I'd rather talk about than start.  I'm the guy who can't get past hate for his father, the one who let his true love get away.  I am terrified of opposition, a plastic wild card as a backbone that melts when things get heated.  I'm the destitute look in your eyes when you discover your lover cheated.  I'm the sweet dream that starts but never gets completed.  I'm absolutely terrified of what I won't achieve.  I'll die a thousand times if only I can continue to deceive.  And when I depart from earth it's quite odd, because even though I get higher it seems like I can never find my...my...

Light.

I finally realized that I've been spending my life hating myself for not fitting in.
I'm a teenage girl vomiting her insides cuz she feels she doesn't fit in her skin.
I'm innocent eyes watching pornography and having sex too young to fit the stereotype of "men."
I'm the alcoholic whose world is out of control so he drinks to match his head with its spin.
I'm the wealthy aristocrat whose income is fat but satisfaction in life is thin.
I'm the gamer whose entire self-worth is wrapped up in being top assassin.
I'm the abused wife who tries to fill the role of heroine.
I'm your ex-lover who you're addicted to like heroin.
I'm the man who has whittled his soul down to the smallest stroke of a pen
And now I'm the man who will no longer let the borders of this page act as a pen.
I'll stand up and tell my story to receive redemption for my sins.
I found that when I'm with true believers, I feel they accept me as kin.
So I put a round in the chamber, and put to death my evil twin.
And now I'll go on smiling, grinning this goofy grin.

Cuz this is who I am.

Up Five

I am taken back to Friday...

When I was happy.

     We were coming back from First Friday.  I was headed to the nearest Redbox, which was at the McDonald's on GB and Texas.  But 2818 called my name.  The beauty of the night and the smooth shadows on the road beckoned.  The stars were aligned; we cruised through green light after green light.   And that is when the song came on.  'More Than Life' by Whitley  It was one of those eternal moments.  When life is...perfect.  Amid all the sorrow and heartache and loneliness and despair that life can bring...especially to a striving Christian...I was safe.  I was content.  In every aspect.

     It was a moment that you know will be short lived, and one in which you are aware that difficult times very likely lie ahead.  Uncertainty prevails, but does not overwhelm, because you realize that moments, nights, life can be this way.  And I can make it.

     When Andrus and I had first arrived in Bryan to begin exploring, we passed a man reading on a bench.  I knew his gig, and picked up the pace and firmness of step to avoid the inevitable call for cash.  Andrus, however, not only makes and maintains eye contact, but pauses to ask the man to repeat what he said.  Once we hear him again, Andrus responds that she has no cash (true), and then proceeds to turn and look directly at me.  The man follows her gaze, and I respond with the same (false).  He takes the news graciously, and continues reading.  Andrus and I continue on for about seven steps, my conscience weighing me down with each new step.  I am trying to rebuke Andrus for pausing and engaging, but I break off midway.  I return to the man with the three singles I had in my wallet.  After an odd exchange of "God bless" and "I remember the days(?)," plus an extremely odd fist bump/four-finger handshake, I continued my evening with my girlfriend.  We had a great time, observing art and window shopping.
     There are so many beautiful people and places and things in the world.  You just have to know where to look.
     We ate at Cafe Capri, and discussed food and dreams and happiness.  On our way back, we passed a man who was sticking out his thumb.  I passed by, but the lead in my foot found its way to my heart.  I turned around and had the man hop in the back.  He was going to the gas station, and said something about buying him beer.  I refused, but continued with the ride.  We got the the station, and Andrus dropped the window down a bit.  He thanked us profusely, insisting that no one else would have picked him up.  He shoved eight buck in the window, urging us to take it.  We refused, as it was merely a gift, but after quite a discussion, he dropped the money in the window.
-$3
+$8
$5
Plus five on the night.  God just loves playing jokes on us.

Lord God, Thank you for your love.  Please bless those who are broken-hearted tonight, those who have been scarred and need redemption and forgiveness.  Manifest youreself in our lives and actions; speak to us in dreams and visions and revelations.  Draw us away from things of this world and nearer to you.  Let us dwell in your house, feasting at your table, and basking in your grace.  Break our hearts for those who others reject, and break our hearts for those who we reject.  Thank you for Triste.  Give us wisdom and hope.
Give us hope.
Thank you for your love.  Thank you for the vine you planted, your Son; thank you for Bible class and sermons and songs and songs and songs.  I love you, Lord.

-G

Fire

Light the fire in my soul....
As I gaze into this fire I think about the nature of it. In the Scriptures men were inflamed with lust, a consuming destructive type of fire. This same vice remains prevalent today, leaving nothing but ashes.
But the life controlled by the Spirit as it were, prompts us to move, to give heat, to bring light. It also consumes, but in a cleansing and unifying way. Lust is a flame that decimates homes and families along with them.

They assembled at Jerusalem in the third month of the fifteenth year of Asa's reign. At that time they sacrificed to the Lord  seven hundred head of cattle and seven thousand sheep and goats from the plunder they had brought back. They entered into a covenant to seek the Lord , the God of their ancestors, with all their heart and soul. All who would not seek the Lord , the God of Israel, were to be put to death, whether small or great, man or woman. They took an oath to the Lord  with loud acclamation, with shouting and with trumpets and horns. All Judah rejoiced about the oath because they had sworn it wholeheartedly. They sought God eagerly, and he was found by them. So the Lord  gave them rest on every side.

2 Chronicles 15:10-15 NIV

Dios es amor y el fuego consumidor.

Heaven

It is stunning how seldom we think about heaven.

I mean, isn't heaven the goal of our faith?

When I die...

Just remember that I loved sunsets anyway...

First West Texas sunset in a while.  This was actually taken on the way home Monday.  Internet was too slow to load it.

My prayer is for the military and their families.  And for the truck drivers.  They are away from their homes as well, sleeping by themselves in rest stops.

Insensitive

Sometimes I can't decide if I'm insensitive or just vigorously guard my heart.

I don't want to enter the discussion on the shootings in Oregon and Connecticut.  Which means this post is about them, of course, but only to say that I don't want to know more.  I desire nothing more--than to hear nothing more--about it, unless it is one of the stories of the brave and selfless teachers.  I've discovered that the more you look, the less you will find.  We know where and when and even what happened.  The press may have already released the name of 'who' did it, but I don't want to know more about that man.

Why would you want to?

We have a sick sense of curiosity, we love to know more about things that make us depressed and hardens our hearts.  People can't seem to understand why things like this happen.  Satan is the who and the why; he weaseled himself into someone's heart and whispered lies there, which were likely compounded my his dark angels, malicious spirits, and possibly even some of his beings who wear the guise of 'christian.'  Yet God will fool the wisdom of the wise, as he does with any personal sickness, sin, or struggle.  The anguish caused by a deep wound such as this is similar to the pain a divorce, alcoholism, or gluttony can inflict on an individual's soul.  Often, only in these moments do we come to realize our deep need for a savior and a healer.  Then our scars remind us that he healed us, who we are now, and who we can be if we continue in him. God will use this for his glory in the end.  Stop feeding your curiosity.  Stop discussing every new development with everyone you know.  And start praying about it.

Christmastime

If you consistently consent to be content with what you are given,
You'll sense your soul slowly recover from extreme malnutrition.

The Journey Before Us

The Hobbit was awesome.

What an epic adventure.  Unfortunately I had no idea that it would be broken into THREE SEPARATE MOVIES.  Will the other two also be three hours long? Money to be made i guess...

The quote that struck me was the concluding statement of the movie.  Bilbo cheerfully states: "Yes, I do believe the worst of our journey is behind us," or something to that effect.  Oh yeah, except for the conclusion of the battle with the orcs, some gargantuan spiders, greedy men, and a massive fire-breathing flying lizard.

This got me thinking.  What lies before us?  Maybe you see happiness and peace, or maybe the future looms precariously heavy upon you as a time of hardships and struggle.  Either way, I'm sure both would agree that a pleasant, joyful existence is the ideal path.  But what would a joyful path look like?

Children, a house, fulfilling job, laid-back lifestyle all come to mind.  But Jesus had another joy set before him:

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."

It seems as if a joyful path incorporates a cross.  We end up back at the cross=joy paradigm.  The things we crave most in life require the most from us.  Holy children are the result of painful discipline.  A content spirit is brought about through constant deprivation and loss.  Soul-saving worship services are the result of years of dreaming, months of planning, and a multitude of nights wrestling with God in prayer. The realization of our dreams only occurs once we surrender them to his will, and choose the path of joy: the cross.

Finally

Back by popular demand....my blog!!!

And by popular demand I mean Taylor and Grant.  Hey, you're popular to me.

I read 'The Good Book Blog' earlier today, which spurred me on to not only revive my comatose postings, but also to memorize the book of Colossians.  All you have to do is read the book aloud around fifty times, memorize it with the 'cover with your hand then check what you missed and try again' technique, then say it twenty-five times to make it concrete in your mind.

I'm extremely excited to begin.  I read a chapter and a half before the munchkins arrived.  I can't wait to read it at home.  I'll have it memorized by the time I run a half-marathon. :)

December 18th, 2011

It was a beautiful day.

Not                                                             

due to a war sunny Texas seventy degrees,

Or                                                        

resulting from a gentle, caressing, heavenly breeze,

Instead                                                                           

because souls hopped land and skipped seas

To

witness a miracle: the sacred bonding of these.

The guests were quite delighted

(Even though I wasn't invited),

We were entertained and excited,

To see love so requited,

A duo cheerfully united.

 Seconds.Suns.Seasons.                                                  
                                   time has alarmingly quickly flown,
Yet it warms the soul to remember                                        
                                                           that we are never truly alone,

For time spent with loved ones                                    
                                                     is really time spent at home.

We anticipate the day                                                            
                                    when we meet again near Heaven's throne,

But today I caught a preview:                                                       
                                                 radiant light from your presence shone.

A joy transcending all words;                                               
                                            a peace by God's hand sown.

From this blessed soil, something...green I saw break through:

(As your lips claimed 'I do', reflecting hearts pure and true)

God's Spirit descended to bind a 'me' to a 'you',
Adhesive for two souls as the world threatens to unglue.
So to unholy desires bid 'So long!' and 'Adieu!'

And in regard to love, be certain to always outdo.

 For one formed from the two; life...

begins anew.

-G

Jammin'

I read Leviticus 24 today, but i'm too lazy to make my usual heading thing.  No formality today, i'm feeling too loosey-goosey.  Christmas is almost here, the kids are actually starting to learn a little bit (i think), and God is just too good.  I love praying with people, love pouring over scripture, love basketball practice, love life.  i'm sure satan will try to knock me out with one of those tremendous crashes that often follow a monumentous high, but for now i am secure in the Lord's hand.  (i'm sure getting out of bed in the morning will be a mountain to climb!)

But God is good.

i was, for possibly the first time in my life, spiritually uplifted by watching espn.  As a fan of Texas A&M sports, Rangers baseball, Spurs basketball, and both Texas NFL teams, these broadcasts typically tend to depress me.  However, today the conversation was about Tim Tebow.

Now i have to be honest, i really never was much of a Tebow fan.  i just didn't know if he was trustworthy.  But their conversation today only served to bolster my faith.  The debators mentioned a unique moment in the 3rd quarter of the Bears-Broncos game.  Tebow was miked up for the game, and they caught him in a moment of prayer.  He said "Win or lose, to You be the glory" (not exact...something to that effect).

They went on to mention pastors they knew, who saw God's purpose in Tebow's victories.  In each of Tim's games, he played terrible for 50 minutes.  But those ten minutes in the 4th quarter or overtime he was untouchable.  His completion percentage is under 50%.  Point: there is no possible way he could win this on his own.  There has to be supernatural intervention.  Wish i could delve into this further, but i gotta run!

-G

Preparing a Sermon

Romans 3:10

If you see light in me

It's no goodness of my own

My life is worthless if I

Don't place Jesus on the throne.

I do that by surrendering

My heart made of stone.

This means seeking out

The orphan whose family and friends have flown.

It's compassion plus loving action

To the man without a home,

It means loving the adulterers,

The murderers, they need to be shown

What it's like to be forgiven and loved

Instead of spoken to in a condescending tone.

Because surely we are like all of these,

Living in the world, yet also unknown

It means speaking the Gospel

In every place we roam

Our life and our breath,

Our food and our home,

They truly aren't ours,

They are merely on loan

They're all gifts to share

So his kingdom can be grown

A sense of urgency we need,

We can't afford to postpone

This moment is right

For his light to be shone,

So let's speak with authority

Through love---our microphone.

Our foolish sense of righteousness

Let us no longer condone.

We surely deserve to die

Around our neck a millstone.

So teach us Father, please

To see things as you do,

Let us not limit the Gospel

To our exclusive crew.

We convince ourselves we're right,

Yes we try to play you.

Blacks, Asians, Hispanics,

Homosexuals, the Jew,

Drug attics and child molesters,

You died to save them, too.

So break us, dear Lord

Tumble walls in our mind

Let us no longer condemn,

But like your Son: humble and kind,

Remind us that our lives

In Christ are redefined

Our sight colorblind

Pure love for all mankind

Our own will declined

Our programming redesigned

To give up everything and say

"Not my will but thine!"

So before we fall again,

Please heal our eyes blind

Teach us to ask WWJD?

Then follow unwavering behind.

Preaching tomorrow at Sandy Creek CoC.  Here is the subject matter.  

I Know It's Late

I have been quite slack on my daily posts lately.  I don't know why i put things in front of time with my GOD, as if it wasn't important if i spent time in his Word or not.

Father, forgive  me and fill me with a sense of passion for you.

Bless me with a hunger for you.

Give us a deep yearning for your Will, so much that we can't help but act on it.

Leviticus 19

I don't know where to begin.  I wish i would have kept up with this thing, but i guess it's a reminder of how much we miss when we spend time chasing things other than him.  Especially in Leviticus.  19:23 reads:

When you reap the harvest of your land, do not reap to the very edges of your field or gather the gleanings of your harvest. ¹⁰ Do not go over your vineyard a second time or pick up the grapes that have fallen. Leave them for the poor and the foreigner. I am the LORD your God.

23:22 also mentions this.  He mentions the poor again.
The aliens.

I have to get some sleep, but i heard something on the radio about spiritual exercise, and thought i could use some today.

So many things happened today that i won't remember tomorrow.  So many different ways that you carried me through.  Thank you, Father.  Remind me.

-G

The Follow Up

I stayed up late last night writing and reading.  And I woke up this mornin' feeling like doing the same thing again.  So after a few e-mails, bathroom cleaning, and bowl of oatmeal (extra brown sugar), here I am.

Leviticus 14

So this stuff is interesting.  This chapter completes the previous chapter; all the methods for cleansing people with skin sores or houses with mildew are here.  I said interesting...curious might be a better word.  I want to know the symbolism behind a few things:

During the ceremony used to cleanse a person's infectious skin disease, the blood of a lamb is wiped on the lobe of the right ear, the thumb of his right hand, and the big toe of his right foot.  Soon after, a touch of oil is placed in the same place.  What is significant about these places?

Second, the process to atone for a house infested with mildew (atone for a house?) requires the use of two birds, some cedar, scarlet yarn, and hyssop.  Why scarlet yarn? Also, once the objects are all dipped in the blood of one of the birds and used to cleanse the house, the priest must release the remaining live bird into the open fields outside the town.  What's the deal with the bird?

Anyways, I'll try to write later, this was a good beginning to the day.

Lots of Thoughts

What is wrong with this world?

Leviticus 13

This was quite a long chapter, mostly pertaining to infectious skin diseases.  Verses 45-46 relate back to the story of the ten lepers.  A leper must live alone, outside the camp, with torn clothes and unkempt hair.  In addition to this, afflicted persons were required to cover their mouths and holler 'Unclean!' everywhere they went.

Sound familiar?

Grungy hair...ragged clothes...alone outside...

Sounds like someone is homeless.

Think about it for a second.  Doesn't every homeless person you see look like this?  And doesn't everything about them scream "UNCLEAN?!"

Yet these are the very people Christ sought out.

I did not intend to talk about this chapter this much.  But I like it!

I continue tonight from Proverbs 31.  I don't know who Lemuel was, but I assume his life was blessed if he listened to his mom at all.

O my son, O son of my womb,

O son of my vows,

do not spend you strength on women,

your vigor on those who ruin kings.

It is not for kings, O Lemuel-

not for kings to drink wine,

not for rulers to crave beer,

lest they drink and forget what the law decrees,

and deprive all the oppressed of their rights.

Give beer to those who are perishing,

wine to those who are in anguish;

let them drink and forget their poverty

and remember their misery no more.

Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves,

for the rights of all who are destitute.

Speak up and judge fairly;

defend the rights of the poor and needy.

-Proverbs 31:2-9



Dear Lord,

Please come to the aid of those who are so desperately calling out.  Often, unbeknownst to us, our souls cry out for you to save us from ourselves.

Fancy words do not work with you.  You see behind any facade we put on in front of people.  You know our hearts, our very souls.  You know all of my insecurities and fears, my hopes and dreams.  Please Father, awaken these dreams within me once again.

Teach us to dream once again.

Show us how to shatter our feeble, limited perceptions of who you are, and instead decide to seek your face earnestly.  We want to see your glory, to enter the Holy of Holies.  We long to be free from the constraints of our feeble flesh.  Open our eyes, Father, to the WAR that rages around us.  Show us the souls that are thirsty for living water and hungry for the bread of heaven.  Reveal to us things that are ETERNAL, that we may fix our eyes on you.

You know, Father, that my thoughts are cluttered and burdensome.  I long to call out to you day and night.  Save us according to your unfailing love.  Without you we are certainly lost.

Thank you for Jesus.

-G

Transcribin'

The Only Thing

by Chris Webb

I look down at my shoes and see they're getting older every day.

I make new friends but it feels like my old ones keep going away.

And nothing really stays the same-

Folks move

Grow up

Leave out

Work jobs

It seems like the only thing that never really changes here is God.

My city's building streets and tearing down the place I went to school.

Folks keep on movin'

Some go forward,

Some go backward, but they move.

From Ronald Regan to Obama,

From the Jerk to Lean and Rock,

Time keeps on turnin' like the world,

The only peace out here is God.

I check the clock

And chaos happens everyday.

People keep fallin',

This corruption in our churches and in our streets

The devil's callin'.

News gets more and more insane,

People keep gettin' stabbed and robbed,

And it seems like the only stable name to call on here is God.

My friends are busy all the time

My family's out

I'm all alone

It's late at night

I don't got nobody

I'm searching through my phone.

The folks I thought were down for me left me like a broken ipod,

And now there's no doubt in my mind that I can only trust in God.

There's nothing else,

There's no one there,

His words are what I will believe in!

When it's cold I gotta trust that he will wake me when I'm dreamin'!

When it's hot then I believe he'll send the wind and bring the rain,

And when nobody's down for me I'll lean on him to take the pain!

God take my brain and take the strain!

I need his voice to calm my screams

I need his touch to take my stress

I need his peace to never leave

I need his hands to hold my heart

I need his word to guide my life

So when i see these news reports

I'll hear him saying

"It's alright."

I've come to this conclusion:

Earth ain't earth without words from his lips.

Folks say God might not be real,

But he's the only thing that is!

This present time

These friends

This church

This poem

Will soon all be the past,

But i just realized that that only what you do for Christ will last.

My shoes are fake now,

My swag will lose it's touch in like two years,

But God's the only thing that was there, is here now, and will be there.

That means that movies money sex respect and weed are meaningless!

The songs we listen to

The conversations

All of it is HIS!

But like MJ man this is it!

If you don't live for Christ your dead!

I'm sorry!

How else could i say this?

Let's all get it through our heads that if it's not his Will we NEED NOT BE CONCERNED!

Money will go

Cars will break down

Friends will fall out

Couples will break up

Folks get old

The thing that sticks is your soul!

And that's the only thing worth keepin'!

And man Jesus died so that our souls could fly

And not be bleedin'!

So stop bleedin'!

And accept him!

Know that all you need is faith,

And if you just focus on following him then things will fall in place!

And things will change,

But turn away,

And know he's there through cold and hot,

And as this world keeps going mad

The only thing we need

is God.

So today's Chapter is Leviticus 12.  I read it...Purification After Childbirth.

I thought my time would be better spent transcribing this poem from the P4CM (Passion For Christ Movement).  Check it out on youtube to get the real effect.

Animals

Leviticus 11

Leviticus eleven is all about clean and unclean animals; what the Israelites could or could not eat.  He gives us a reason to be holy...because He is holy.

Something they said in worship today (I believe from James 5 about riches) reminded me of Luke 14:15-23.  It is the parable of the Great Banquet.  The Lord becomes angry when the invited guests decide not to come.  They weren't doing evil, they were already occupied enjoying their blessings.  One man gives up his place for a field, another for a few oxen, and yet another believes his wife is more important.  All of these are blessings. 

Gracious Father, please remove us from the comforts that we have grow so accustomed to.

Set our minds on things above, thing that are unseen and eternal and holy.  Reveal to us the blessings that you bestow that we thoughtlessly place above you.

Thanks for smiling on me.

-G