Thank you, Lord, for the words of David, for the heart that you put into him, for the passionate devotion he had for you and your law, for the sleepless nights and the joyful mornings, for the heavy moments of mourning and the strength to do what is right, for consuming him and giving him the gift of utter abandon, for weaving together words in him as a life is woven together in a mother's womb.
Please give me this spirit; show me what it takes to be a man after your own heart. Purify me and redeem me, and remind me of my worth. I long to be set apart for your holy purposes, to dwell in your presence and see your face.
Cuz your love is life to me
My truest longing my deepest need
Without it one moment, I don't know where I'd be
Your love is life to me
Monday, April 29, 2013
Saturday, April 6, 2013
Freedom
The storage industry is one of the largest growing industries in America. There were 2.2 billion square feet by the time this Tedtalk happened. Debt has been around for thousands of years, but this man suggests we have PERFECTED it. We work so we can buy things, we buy more things so we go into debt, which leads us to more work. Nothing is more stressful than working a job that you don't love to pay off things you have from decisions you made years ago.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Watch "Rudy Francisco performs "Chameleon"" on YouTube
Man, it's one of those days I need a gut wrenching poem.
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Lion-Heart
Behold, Greyson, the Lion-hearted!!!
A courageous man! Good-looking and highly regarded! With dashing smile and charm for miles my capabilities simply can't be charted. I'm the guy you want to bring home to your father, the one you don't want to let get away, I'm the one that scares the opposition, a wild card when it's most needed. I'm the surge of epinephrine you got when you and your lover first greeted. My words dissolve like honey, reviving any soul whose feels defeated. I can do more than your mind dares to conceive. I'm willing to face any brand of distasteful death if I can only hold fast to what I believe. I don't mind a departure from earth as odd as at the hands of Sweeney Todd, and I'd revel in passing away like one of the prophets, even Stephen. He was stoned to death as a martyr.
Unfortunately, I'd rather be stoned to death than to cauterize the gash from which flows my bleeding soul. A doughnut of a man with a sweet exterior, yet glazed eyes don't hide the fact that I'm not whole.
And now, behold Greyson with a lying heart.
A man who from his previously stated ideology would quickly depart. Any meaningful lifestyle I'd rather talk about than start. I'm the guy who can't get past hate for his father, the one who let his true love get away. I am terrified of opposition, a plastic wild card as a backbone that melts when things get heated. I'm the destitute look in your eyes when you discover your lover cheated. I'm the sweet dream that starts but never gets completed. I'm absolutely terrified of what I won't achieve. I'll die a thousand times if only I can continue to deceive. And when I depart from earth it's quite odd, because even though I get higher it seems like I can never find my...my...
Light.
I finally realized that I've been spending my life hating myself for not fitting in.
I'm a teenage girl vomiting her insides cuz she feels she doesn't fit in her skin.
I'm innocent eyes watching pornography and having sex too young to fit the stereotype of "men."
I'm the alcoholic whose world is out of control so he drinks to match his head with its spin.
I'm the wealthy aristocrat whose income is fat but satisfaction in life is thin.
I'm the gamer whose entire self-worth is wrapped up in being top assassin.
I'm the abused wife who tries to fill the role of heroine.
I'm your ex-lover who you're addicted to like heroin.
I'm the man who has whittled his soul down to the smallest stroke of a pen
And now I'm the man who will no longer let the borders of this page act as a pen.
I'll stand up and tell my story to receive redemption for my sins.
I found that when I'm with true believers, I feel they accept me as kin.
So I put a round in the chamber, and put to death my evil twin.
And now I'll go on smiling, grinning this goofy grin.
Cuz this is who I am.
A courageous man! Good-looking and highly regarded! With dashing smile and charm for miles my capabilities simply can't be charted. I'm the guy you want to bring home to your father, the one you don't want to let get away, I'm the one that scares the opposition, a wild card when it's most needed. I'm the surge of epinephrine you got when you and your lover first greeted. My words dissolve like honey, reviving any soul whose feels defeated. I can do more than your mind dares to conceive. I'm willing to face any brand of distasteful death if I can only hold fast to what I believe. I don't mind a departure from earth as odd as at the hands of Sweeney Todd, and I'd revel in passing away like one of the prophets, even Stephen. He was stoned to death as a martyr.
Unfortunately, I'd rather be stoned to death than to cauterize the gash from which flows my bleeding soul. A doughnut of a man with a sweet exterior, yet glazed eyes don't hide the fact that I'm not whole.
And now, behold Greyson with a lying heart.
A man who from his previously stated ideology would quickly depart. Any meaningful lifestyle I'd rather talk about than start. I'm the guy who can't get past hate for his father, the one who let his true love get away. I am terrified of opposition, a plastic wild card as a backbone that melts when things get heated. I'm the destitute look in your eyes when you discover your lover cheated. I'm the sweet dream that starts but never gets completed. I'm absolutely terrified of what I won't achieve. I'll die a thousand times if only I can continue to deceive. And when I depart from earth it's quite odd, because even though I get higher it seems like I can never find my...my...
Light.
I finally realized that I've been spending my life hating myself for not fitting in.
I'm a teenage girl vomiting her insides cuz she feels she doesn't fit in her skin.
I'm innocent eyes watching pornography and having sex too young to fit the stereotype of "men."
I'm the alcoholic whose world is out of control so he drinks to match his head with its spin.
I'm the wealthy aristocrat whose income is fat but satisfaction in life is thin.
I'm the gamer whose entire self-worth is wrapped up in being top assassin.
I'm the abused wife who tries to fill the role of heroine.
I'm your ex-lover who you're addicted to like heroin.
I'm the man who has whittled his soul down to the smallest stroke of a pen
And now I'm the man who will no longer let the borders of this page act as a pen.
I'll stand up and tell my story to receive redemption for my sins.
I found that when I'm with true believers, I feel they accept me as kin.
So I put a round in the chamber, and put to death my evil twin.
And now I'll go on smiling, grinning this goofy grin.
Cuz this is who I am.
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Up Five
I am taken back to Friday...
When I was happy.
We were coming back from First Friday. I was headed to the nearest Redbox, which was at the McDonald's on GB and Texas. But 2818 called my name. The beauty of the night and the smooth shadows on the road beckoned. The stars were aligned; we cruised through green light after green light. And that is when the song came on. 'More Than Life' by Whitley It was one of those eternal moments. When life is...perfect. Amid all the sorrow and heartache and loneliness and despair that life can bring...especially to a striving Christian...I was safe. I was content. In every aspect.
It was a moment that you know will be short lived, and one in which you are aware that difficult times very likely lie ahead. Uncertainty prevails, but does not overwhelm, because you realize that moments, nights, life can be this way. And I can make it.
When Andrus and I had first arrived in Bryan to begin exploring, we passed a man reading on a bench. I knew his gig, and picked up the pace and firmness of step to avoid the inevitable call for cash. Andrus, however, not only makes and maintains eye contact, but pauses to ask the man to repeat what he said. Once we hear him again, Andrus responds that she has no cash (true), and then proceeds to turn and look directly at me. The man follows her gaze, and I respond with the same (false). He takes the news graciously, and continues reading. Andrus and I continue on for about seven steps, my conscience weighing me down with each new step. I am trying to rebuke Andrus for pausing and engaging, but I break off midway. I return to the man with the three singles I had in my wallet. After an odd exchange of "God bless" and "I remember the days(?)," plus an extremely odd fist bump/four-finger handshake, I continued my evening with my girlfriend. We had a great time, observing art and window shopping.
There are so many beautiful people and places and things in the world. You just have to know where to look.
We ate at Cafe Capri, and discussed food and dreams and happiness. On our way back, we passed a man who was sticking out his thumb. I passed by, but the lead in my foot found its way to my heart. I turned around and had the man hop in the back. He was going to the gas station, and said something about buying him beer. I refused, but continued with the ride. We got the the station, and Andrus dropped the window down a bit. He thanked us profusely, insisting that no one else would have picked him up. He shoved eight buck in the window, urging us to take it. We refused, as it was merely a gift, but after quite a discussion, he dropped the money in the window.
-$3
+$8
$5
Plus five on the night. God just loves playing jokes on us.
Lord God, Thank you for your love. Please bless those who are broken-hearted tonight, those who have been scarred and need redemption and forgiveness. Manifest youreself in our lives and actions; speak to us in dreams and visions and revelations. Draw us away from things of this world and nearer to you. Let us dwell in your house, feasting at your table, and basking in your grace. Break our hearts for those who others reject, and break our hearts for those who we reject. Thank you for Triste. Give us wisdom and hope.
Give us hope.
Thank you for your love. Thank you for the vine you planted, your Son; thank you for Bible class and sermons and songs and songs and songs. I love you, Lord.
When I was happy.
We were coming back from First Friday. I was headed to the nearest Redbox, which was at the McDonald's on GB and Texas. But 2818 called my name. The beauty of the night and the smooth shadows on the road beckoned. The stars were aligned; we cruised through green light after green light. And that is when the song came on. 'More Than Life' by Whitley It was one of those eternal moments. When life is...perfect. Amid all the sorrow and heartache and loneliness and despair that life can bring...especially to a striving Christian...I was safe. I was content. In every aspect.
It was a moment that you know will be short lived, and one in which you are aware that difficult times very likely lie ahead. Uncertainty prevails, but does not overwhelm, because you realize that moments, nights, life can be this way. And I can make it.
When Andrus and I had first arrived in Bryan to begin exploring, we passed a man reading on a bench. I knew his gig, and picked up the pace and firmness of step to avoid the inevitable call for cash. Andrus, however, not only makes and maintains eye contact, but pauses to ask the man to repeat what he said. Once we hear him again, Andrus responds that she has no cash (true), and then proceeds to turn and look directly at me. The man follows her gaze, and I respond with the same (false). He takes the news graciously, and continues reading. Andrus and I continue on for about seven steps, my conscience weighing me down with each new step. I am trying to rebuke Andrus for pausing and engaging, but I break off midway. I return to the man with the three singles I had in my wallet. After an odd exchange of "God bless" and "I remember the days(?)," plus an extremely odd fist bump/four-finger handshake, I continued my evening with my girlfriend. We had a great time, observing art and window shopping.
There are so many beautiful people and places and things in the world. You just have to know where to look.
We ate at Cafe Capri, and discussed food and dreams and happiness. On our way back, we passed a man who was sticking out his thumb. I passed by, but the lead in my foot found its way to my heart. I turned around and had the man hop in the back. He was going to the gas station, and said something about buying him beer. I refused, but continued with the ride. We got the the station, and Andrus dropped the window down a bit. He thanked us profusely, insisting that no one else would have picked him up. He shoved eight buck in the window, urging us to take it. We refused, as it was merely a gift, but after quite a discussion, he dropped the money in the window.
-$3
+$8
$5
Plus five on the night. God just loves playing jokes on us.
Lord God, Thank you for your love. Please bless those who are broken-hearted tonight, those who have been scarred and need redemption and forgiveness. Manifest youreself in our lives and actions; speak to us in dreams and visions and revelations. Draw us away from things of this world and nearer to you. Let us dwell in your house, feasting at your table, and basking in your grace. Break our hearts for those who others reject, and break our hearts for those who we reject. Thank you for Triste. Give us wisdom and hope.
Give us hope.
Thank you for your love. Thank you for the vine you planted, your Son; thank you for Bible class and sermons and songs and songs and songs. I love you, Lord.
-G
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Fire
Light the fire in my soul....
As I gaze into this fire I think about the nature of it. In the Scriptures men were inflamed with lust, a consuming destructive type of fire. This same vice remains prevalent today, leaving nothing but ashes.
But the life controlled by the Spirit as it were, prompts us to move, to give heat, to bring light. It also consumes, but in a cleansing and unifying way. Lust is a flame that decimates homes and families along with them.
They assembled at Jerusalem in the third month of the fifteenth year of Asa's reign. At that time they sacrificed to the Lord seven hundred head of cattle and seven thousand sheep and goats from the plunder they had brought back. They entered into a covenant to seek the Lord , the God of their ancestors, with all their heart and soul. All who would not seek the Lord , the God of Israel, were to be put to death, whether small or great, man or woman. They took an oath to the Lord with loud acclamation, with shouting and with trumpets and horns. All Judah rejoiced about the oath because they had sworn it wholeheartedly. They sought God eagerly, and he was found by them. So the Lord gave them rest on every side.
2 Chronicles 15:10-15 NIV
Dios es amor y el fuego consumidor.
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
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